Subconscious Wants
by Ev'ryBody'sGotALaughin'Place
Summary: Never would I have thought that those dreams could mean something more, that they could help me find him. My soul mate." Bella Swan has been having dreams. Vivid dreams. What happens when she meets the one man who has been starring in them for years?
1. Prologue

It's been swimming around in my head for a while, and, once again, like Toasters and Goldfishes and Welcome to Writing Camp, it is based off a dream. Like WTWC, Alice is my bff Brittany, I'm Bella, and Edward is some guy named Josh.

Only a prologue, because I'm exhausted, and just had to write down what was taunting my brain and wouldn't let me sleep until I did said writing down. Now, if you'll excuse, me, I'm tired. Good night!

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The dreams.

Those vivid dreams.

I have been having them ever since that trip to California.

The first one, I thought nothing of. It was just a simple girl, in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle, to her obvious future husband. He had bronze colored hair that stuck up in all directions and the most amazing green eyes ever. It was nothing special; I had those all the time. Where else would I have come up with all of my wedding dress designs? The only thing weird about them was how much the girl looked like me…

The second one was… odd. The boy and girl from my first dream were in one heck of a heated debate before the girl pounced on him. Even weirder, though, was it looked like it was happening right outside my homeroom classroom. Like I said: odd.

Third one was interesting. In this one, everything seemed so real, almost like I could reach out, and knock something over if I had wanted to. The walls were a grayish color, but very pretty. The curtains, which were hanging in front of a small window, were black, and almost transparent. The king-sized bed had dark blue bed sheets, and black, white, gray, and blue pillows spewed all over the place. The girl was on the bed, knees angled in front of her. The boy slept behind her, an arm wrapped around her stomach, and she was smiling.

And then the fourth one was when I KNEW that the girl was me, just older.

They were sitting on a bench, at what looked like Central Park in New York during the winter. She wore a black beanie, and a black coat. He also had on a black coat, but his was less feminine—obviously.

Since it wasn't that long ago that I had it, I remember exactly how their conversation went down.

"So, I bought some Phantom tickets," she said conversationally—that was the first indication that she was me: her voice sounded like mine, just different with age and maturity. Second indication was the nose—it was upturned, just like mine. Noses like that are rare- unless you go and get a nose job, but hers was obviously natural.

"Oh," the boy said, not looking at her. He obviously didn't like Phantom of the Opera, and couldn't figure out why she would even think of dragging him along. "How many did'ya buy?"

"Four. Two for us, and two for Alice and Jasper." That was the third indication, which I found odd. Alice was my best friend, and had a crush on my cousin Jasper for who knows how long, but I never, in a million years, thought that they'd be together, which they obviously were, by the way she was talking about them.

"Ah," he replied, obviously trying to get out of the conversation.

"Eeeedwaaard!" she whined, titling her head to the side.

"What, Bug?" That was the fourth indication. My nickname had been 'Bug' since before I was born.

"Why won't you take me to see Phantom?"

"Same reason I won't take you to see Jeff Dunham."

She huffed, and crossed her arms. "I don't get how you don't think he's funny," she mumbled.

He chuckled, and wrapped his arms around her. "I just don't like Bubba J," he said.

"But admit it, you like Achmed and Peanut!"

"I do, but I WILL NOT sit through Bubba J and that manager one just so you can watch a dead skeleton and a purple puppet with only one shoe."

She huffed again. "Fine. And you won't get to watch your show tonight."

"So, what time is the flight?"

She laughed, and hit him playfully on the shoulder. "I love you, Edward."

"And I love you."

Never would I have thought that those dreams could mean something more, that they could help me find _him._

My soul mate.

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Ok, that last part was a bit cliché, I'll admit. And, I know I should really stick with the STORIES I already have, but this one just… well… wouldn't leave me alone. Please review, I'm going to gym tomorrow and it is.. *glances at clock* 11:46 where I live, and I have to get up at 6, so I'm going to do worse than I usually tomorrow, all for my readers to be happy! Just, please, review, for my sanity! xD


	2. Chicken Dinner and Green Eyes

Here is the first chapter. Thanks to Jayleen-Cullen-Whitlock-Hale., I have named the story "Subconscious Wants".

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It started in Eighth grade, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

Around the beginning of the school year, my grandma took us to California for the weekend because she had the weekend off, and we had enough money. She got us down there, planning on taking us to Knott's Berry Farm for the first time, but we got there too late.

So, instead she took us to the Chicken Dinner restaurant outside of the park, and then to the beach.

Before even entering the resteraunt, I got butterflies in my stomach, and my heart was almost literally dragging me down the sidewalk, to the Diner, telling me the entire way, _this is it, Bella, this is the moment!_

As we were seated, I noticed another family across the room. There were six of them, sitting around the table and having a great time. All except for the boy sitting on the edge of the table. He looked positively bored. His piercing green eyes caught mine, and I couldn't look away.

When he finally looked down was the only time that I was able to look away as well.

My sister asked me to go to the bathroom with her, and I did. When we went back to the table, the group from across the way was leaving. As I walked up the steps, the boy with the green eyes passed by me, and that was when I knew that he was special.

Our hands brushed each other in the lightest way, but I felt it as if it had burned me.

There wasn't a spark, or any of that crap, but there was something, a pull that I felt towards him. I instantly knew that we were something, and Fate was really out there, guiding us, leading us. Why it decided to show me this now, I had no clue.

I had never believed in soul mates or true love, of any of that before, but at that moment, I knew that it was and that this boy was mine… or would be, someday. I knew in my heart that this wasn't going to be the last time our paths crossed.

I wasn't able to sleep all that night. I couldn't stop thinking about him, and every time I did, my heart would just start whispering a name to me. _Edward, Edward, Edward._

My sister kept telling me, "Oh, its fate, that's what it is!" And she was the only one who knew. I never told anybody else about him. That is, before that day, I think it was Monday, in science class.

I was doodling, trying to think up some new wedding dress design for my story, when it hit me, and I just froze up…

_She wore a two-layered dress that had the neckline hang just below her shoulders, and round slightly at the chest. A simple white rose hung in the middle, with some of the silky fabric of the top layer bunched up under it, causing slight waves to erupt from the flower and travel down the length of the dress, and stop a few inches from the hem of the skirt, revealing some of the lacy layer hiding underneath. Just as it should be. The sleeves flared quite a bit, starting at the elbow, and traveling all the way down the dress' length. _

_The tiara perched upon her perfect mahogany hair was made of swirly golden bands and held two large white pearls –one on top and one underneath- in place. From the top pearl, the veil erupted down her back and stopped about halfway down the skirt of her dress in a nice rounded form. The part meant to cover her face traveled down the front, stopping –in little waves – about a fourth from where the back had ended, just about where the skirt began. _

_Her beautiful hair was simple. It hung loosely down her back in large curls, and stopped about half-way down her back. Her hazel eyes just glowed with happiness, and she brought the bouquet of violet and white roses up to her upturned nose for a second to smell them._

_My line of sight abruptly shifted, and my breath caught in my throat. It was obviously the man from the restaurant, just older – maybe in his late twenties or early thirties—like the girl. His emerald eyes reflected her happiness, and he ran a hand through his messy bronze-ish colored hair. It looked like he had tried to contain it, but had failed miserably. _

_Finally she reached him, and he held his hand out. She looked over to her friend –the bridesmaid, obviously,- who looked a lot like Alice. The short black hair and the blue eyes. She gave her the thumbs up, and the girl nodded, turning back to the boy. _

That's when it stopped, and I couldn't see anymore.

"Ahem." I looked up to see my best friend Alice standing over me. I looked over her shoulder, and saw everyone else getting up and leaving.

I shook my head, clearing my mind of all that I had just saw, and stood up. "Ready to go to Art?" I asked.

She laughed. "Finally! I thought you were going to go into, like, a coma or something! It was like you were possessed!"

I smiled and shook my head, this time in acknowledgement to her, and not lack thereof. "Nope, I'm absolutely fine." She nodded, but eyed me funny. She didn't believe me, that much was obvious. Alice was the supernatural type. You know, the kind of person who told you that the reason you have chills is because someone is walking on your future grave. She was already convinced that I was physic, so I knew that I was in a heap of trouble if I ever told her what I had just seen.

The walk to the art room was silent. Neither of us said a word. But when we actually got into the room and sat down, she became the most hyperactive person you know—the Alice that we all know and love.

"So, I walk talking to my Edward the last week, and he was so sweet, I don't know who we get along so well! Well, he is my cousin, just like you and Corbin and Taylor get along, I guess we're like that. We're going trick-or-treating with our family, and you can come so that you can finally meet him!"

I smiled at my friend. Edward was her cousin, and yes, I use the term 'WAS' on purpose. Alice's aunt and uncle were talking to me the other day while she was busy, and they told me that Edward had been in a tragic hit-and-run drunken driver accident, and didn't make it. **(A/N: This Edward is NOT the same Edward as she saw in her vision. They are two totally different Edwards. Sorry for any confusion!) **They planned to tell Alice that same day, but just couldn't. They were going to tell her tomorrow, though, since the funeral was in one week.

I smiled sadly, though she didn't notice; for she was too busy talking about Edward. I felt really bad about not telling her about it, and before I could stop it, what I saw in my little 'vision' slipped out—my vain attempt at keeping my mouth shut about Edward's death.

"You saw _what?"_

"A girl in a wedding dress?" It sounded more like a uestion. I chuckled, and she smiled.

""I knew it, I knew it, I just KNEW IT! MY BEST FRIEND IS PHSYIC!!" She clapped her hands, and everyone stopped making their Paper Mache monsters to look at us as if we were crazy. I sunk down further in my seat, and ripped a piece of newspaper off, using it to hide my face from the extra attention that I really didn't need right now.

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Yes, that is exactly how it went down. Only Brittany (This story's Alice) laughed at me, and said "Ha, told you you were physic!" But yes, everything that happens from the first chapter to, I think around the fifth chapter, has actually happened to me. The rest I make up 'cuz it fits in the story! That means yes, her cousin died in a freak accident, in which he was ran over by a drunk driver. Unfortunately, as her cousin Edward, he didn't make it. But, unlike Alice, she knows that he died, because it had happened many years prior.


	3. Baseball

This is just a chapter to get to know all of the characters… or, most of them anyways. It's still based off of real things that have happened to me in my life, just not exactly in the same order, and some details will be changed to fit the story… Anywho, on with the chapter!

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Subconscious Wants

Chapter 2:

Baseball

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Jasper Whitlock, Emmett McCarty and I were just like the three Musketeers when we were with each other – inseparable. Unfortunately, though, we weren't together as often as we would have liked because Emmett lived in Seattle, and Jasper lived in Utah.

Emmett and I had been through so much together – well, so had Jasper and I, but that was another story –. He wasn't really my cousin; he was my second cousin. However, ever since we were eight, "second cousin" had been a bad word and was worthy of a time out. And, besides, there was no need to get technical on that, right?

Jasper and I were different. His family was what you thought of when you pictured the perfect Mormon family. They lived out in the middle of nowhere, and were a model family. You know the kind of family you saw on television, the ones with no problems and the perfect lives. Not that I think that's a bad thing – I actually respect it. That's just the only way I can explain them. But any who, back to the point. Em and I were basically glued to the hip since only God knows when, and spent all the time that we possibly could with each other. And when Jazz was there, the more the merrier.

Emmett was the comic one, Jazz was the somber, serious one, and I was thrown somewhere in between them. We loved to play videos and watch old movies together (LEGO Star Wars and Original Indy movies, anyone?) We talked about the most random things, and did even more random ones. Life was good. And when Emmett and his family moved closer to Forks, it got even better. When Jasper and his family did the same, life was perfect. Or, at least, that's how it seemed at first. Maybe it ended better.

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"So how's it goin'?"

I looked up from my Paper Mache monster to glance up at my cousin, Emmett. He had just moved out here, but we had grown apart as of recently because he decided that he'd much rather hang out with the boys than discuss my 'girl problems' with me. Not that I minded; after all, it made sense.

"Nothing…?" I answered him, though it sounded more like a question than a reply. Emmett had always been a dork, and today was no different.

Emmett pursed his lips and shuffled his feet. "Cool."

"Yep."

"We still on for the sleepover Friday?" He'd been asking me this same question ever since we planned the sleepover a week ago. He and Jasper were supposed to come over to my house for the entire weekend so that we could play a few videogames, watch a marathon of George Lucas movies, and sleep underneath the fall sky, out on the trampoline.

"Yep." The answer hadn't changed yet.

"Jasper still gonna be there?" Still, nothing had changed.

"Haven't heard anything to believe he's not."

"Awesome. 'Kay, then I'll let you get back to your…" He glanced down at my monster, which I had just finished painting red, and was now coloring the pupils in its over-sized eyes. "Your Elmo?"

It was my turn this time to glance down at my monster, and realized that it truly DID look exactly like Elmo. "Alright," I said, shrugging.

He let out a booming laugh. "Speaking of Elmo, we need to go to Sea World soon." I nodded. That was one of the things we enjoyed doing—going out of town and visiting theme parks. "Oh! And Universal Studios!"

"Uh huh." I got up and started to lead him back to his friends on the other side of the room.

"And Disneyland!" he said as I forced him down in his chair.

"Yes, Emmett, I'll discuss it with my mother," I assured him. "See you Friday."

"You're awesome, Cuz," he said. I smiled and he smiled back. "See ya."

I went back to my side of the room and plopped down in my seat. Alice laughed at me.

"What does Elmo have to do with Sea World, anyways?" she asked.

I glanced over at her, eyebrow raised. "You should know; you're the last one I took there."

She pursed her lips and shrugged after a while. "I got nothing."

I sighed. "You the children's play center there? It's Sesame Street-themed."

"Ooh!" she gasped. "I get it now!"

"Yeah," I muttered with heavy sarcasm. I rolled my eyes.

She playfully hit me on the shoulder. "Hey watch it!" I yelled. "You're going to get Paper Mache all over my shirt!"

I laughed at the expression on her face; it just screamed, "Oh, get over it!"

"Who was that?" she asked.

It came to the center of my attention then that I never did fully introduce neither Emmett nor Jasper to her. I only hung out with them on the many days that Alice was absent from school.

I decided to keep the explanation simple. Shrugging, I said, "Just my goofy cousin."

She giggled loudly, which brought even more unwanted attention to us.

"And he's sleeping over Friday?" she asked once she calmed down from her giggles, and all of the class' eyes went back to their own projects.

"Yup," I answered, popping the 'p'.

She smiled slyly. "Hey, do you think I could come over Friday?" she asked, acting as if I didn't just tell her what I was already doing this weekend.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever," I answered, waving my hand dismissively.

"Yay!" she clapped her hands together, and I wondered what I had just gotten myself into.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, and the week followed as well, and before I knew it, it was Friday, and Emmett was at my door, waiting to be let in.

"I'm here!" he announced when I had finally gotten around to letting him in.

"The Wii's set up in the family room… that-a way, you can't miss it. LEGO Indiana Jones is already in there, so knock yourself out. I'm going to get the cookies out of the oven," I ordered, pointing towards the family room.

He nodded, and headed in that direction and I went to get the cookies.

By the time I had all of the cookies on a plate and was heading for the family room when there was a knock on the door.

I gave the cookies to Emmett, who was busy defeating some Nazis, and went to let Jasper in.

He wore an old Yankees hat and carried a bat and a bag slung over his shoulder.

I laughed. "What's with all the baseball stuff?" I asked.

He shrugged, stepping in. "I don't know, I just decided that since Indiana Jones movies are rated PG 13, we might want to do something else." Remember what I said about his family being the perfect Mormons? Well, Jasper was a year younger than my current thirteen, so he wouldn't dare to even go near anything PG 13.

"Your mom said no, huh?"

"Yep. If we won't have adult supervision, no PG 13 movies."

"Thought so."

I led him into the family room, where I had a pile of blankets due to be carried out to the trampoline on top of the couch, and Emmett sat on the floor with the Wii remote in his hand, trying as hard as he could to play the videogame.

"Hey Em!" Jasper called, trying to get his attention.

"One second; I have to get Marion over so that she can help Indy…" He said it like he was in some sort of trance.

"We can't watch Indy," I said. He instantly snapped out of it, pausing the game and throwing the remote to the floor.

"Excuse me?"

"We're playing baseball instead." I pointed with my thumb over to Jasper, who was getting his baseball out of his bag.

"Do you have anything we could use for bases?" he asked.

"Uh, I have a few pieces of wood out in the back."

"Those'll work."

While we were setting up the bases in the back, Alice called. I took my red Centro out of my pocket and pressed 'ANSWER'.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, Bella; I'm bringing my cousin over too, is that okay?"_

"Uhh, I guess."

"Who are you talking to?" Emmett asked me.

"My friend Alice," I replied.

"Ohh! Can I talk to her? Please!"

I chuckled, and said to her, "Emmett wants to talk, okay?" Before she could reply, Emmett snatched the phone out of my hand and began to talk to her. I laughed, and went to help Jasper set up the bases.

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Once again, exactly how everything went down… mostly! Please review; I live off them ;D


	4. AN2

Ugh, I'm a terrible person. I've rejected my stories for so long... and I'm soooooo sorry, guys. i feel horrible, 'cause you were all sooooo great to me and helped me so much... But I am only a young teenage girl, and I lose interest very very quickly and I hate to say it but I've kinda lost interest in fanfiction. I hate doing this to you guys, but when a writer can't write anymore... there's nothing left to save. Life's been so hard, what with my poor poor mother being ill with kidney failure and my stupid boyfriend and friends' drama.

The other night, I was looking through my old stories and I was reading the reviews my stories were given, and, looking back on it, I can't believe how much support you guys gave me, and then it got even better when I found out that my stories were part of some of the communities that had some of the best stories I had ever read and it made me so happy that my readers ranked me with them.

I may or may not post new chapters every once in a while, but I haven't given up writing completely. I absolutely adore writing stories with my own characters, and I'm going to be converting some of my stories -like You Found Me, which has already been converted- with my own characters and I'm thinking about posting them over on FictionPress, so watch out for me over there! I'm under the same name.

But besides that... thank you all so very much for the support and love you've all given me all this time, and I'm sooooo sorry to leave like this.

Please forgive me, guys.

Ev'rybody'sGotALaughin'Place

P.S. if you read this once, you don't have to read it on any other story of mine; they all say the same thing.


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